Wicked games of life

Saturday, about 10pm

"Klemens, sogmoi, wo bistn grod, do is da kerni!"

"Beim fano, min reita, oiso in lookircha"

"he kumm sofort ins barock, oida voi de kuhle band, stüngö, und da percussionist is vom söllna und üwahaupt ..."

"bast, san glei do"

and that way fano, andy and myself came to some sort of pretty astonishing concert about legalization of some things and "weisse gams"...

The most interesting part was when I was alone for a few minutes with kerni and he told me how much he liked my playing at the concert, that i could play some dirty slash style rock and so on... that he could learn from me about that, sounding a bit like others do and such stuff. *omg!*

Guys I think you know how hard earned accolade can be, and especially when it comes from somebody you kinda look up to.
I mean without him I probably wouldn't play guitar any more, I've leaned my first single-note stuff from him (intro of Sweet child of mine). I kinda turned tomatoe red, and grinned...

This was really kinda strange ...
Interesting.

stay tuned, or go dropped d...

A hard days night

maths is gonna be a "zusootz".

so i decided o blow my head away, once again with good old tasty beer. well, to be honest, the last one wasn't really the best one but - you know, rausch is rausch...

went to "ju", I think I haven't been there for a year or something like that.

It was pretty funny with schally,heinz,domo and mugi.
After that "fluchthoiwe" in the baroque, so i think the operation "think of something different than maths" went out to be pretty fine


greets klömpö

It's over...

Written exams are done so far.
Lets look how it is gonna be then. have a bad feeling about mathematics. but we'll see...

Thursday was somehow strange and interesting. i really don't know atm if i should go on matura-vacation. With these guys like fred dd and haginga i wouldn't feel comfortable i guess...

If u ask why: their way of having fun, no matter what they do with things and how people react on their actings isn't [break. reason="gonna write further at another time... atm my father started playing e-piano with the WORST SOUNDS SUCHA MACHINE CAN CREATE. I mean he's really a decent player on piano and organ and such stuff, he could easily play somewhere jazz or blues or whatsoever. but NOW I HEAR EMULATED PANFLUTES AND FLUES (sounds worse than karl moik stuff) in "schmalzigem" ambiente..."]

p.s.: the only thing I want less today than being alone is in the C... today this means as much as "AIDS or TBC?"


[/break]

interesting to them. This seems so ego-manic to me - I can't stand that. Brandi had problems to see somebody as drunk as fred, me too, and then fred even made fun of me. I was this [--] close to hitting him. really. I hate it.
I also gotta say I had some really interesting discussions, with brandi, mauschn, biatsch and also, what kinda fascinated me, with ninsch.

Normally sometimes nini seems to lack of what I like to call "emotional intelligence". Its about how good you can feel yourself into other persons, how good you can simply let them say what they want and simply listen to them.

Well I think when I told him my fears that I actually have atm it was the first time I realized them myself.

In fact my biggest fear atm is how I could live - some sort of survive all the coming days, like standing up, go to work, come home, do something useful, go to bed.
That may be one of the reasons why I wanna go to UNI. And I really recognized that I have a lot in common about fear with my father and my sister. God bless that its not that extreme - but maybe only so far.

When I ask myself what I wanna do within the next 10 years (maybe because I'm gonna be 20 in a few months) - the only thing I say and I really stand up to is to finish my apprecianceship.
I couldn't say I would get married (this seems rather strange when I say that with nearly 20 years, I know, but ... well... gotta think of it) because I fear I won't get to know a nice girl within the next 10 years.
I fear I won't build my own life like building a house or whatsoever.
I don't think I could possibly have kids within the next 10 years, for the reason above.
The only thing I'm really sure of, and what I fear, is the fear itself.

And, as you may guess, that kinda bothers me. Is it gonna get worse? Better? Stay that way?

How will my next year be like? Being at home, zivi and such stuff - am I gonna stick with the friends I made in school? Will I stand up, go to work, come home, eat something, and then go to bed? for 9 months? god. no.

what will be senseful to me?

The birds don't work as good anymore as they did within the past few weeks.
(Whenever I see birds, like jumpin' around, bathin' in some puddle, fly drinkin' in our pool at home, I always remember myself "how beautiful life is"... meanwhile its rather "...should be"... hopefully it won't become "...has been")

no. really no good times for me.




really not.

Such a lonely day
And it’s mine
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It’s a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn’t exist
It's a day that I’ll never miss

Such a lonely day
And it’s mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
And it’s mine
It’s a day that I’m glad I survived
[anm. der redaktion: "really?"]

Mathematics

Well. to say it in german:

"Es war ein Ge-maths-el"

BO went out pretty fine i guess - I could have 100% there. lets wait.
"was macht das schon"...

German went well

German went well... looking forward for tomorrow or so.

How i feel

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
The best place to be when you're feeling like

Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around
Me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back up before I snap

...

Yesterday when I was waitin for Mr. Andreas I had some kind of really "happy" moment. Just watchin the trees, hearin the birds singin'.

And this moment seems so far away right now. A million miles away.