Too much to drink and think of..

not enough girlfriend and lifesense?

I don't wanna sound like a mid-thirty workaholic that starts to feel spiritual vacuum... but i think it could really get my life more sorted somehow.

It took only zamfirs lonely shepherd (good song) and qotsa's long slow goodbye to get me in sort of a "drink a lot and think alot" phase.

I dunno what else i could tell u (probably only mr. rider reading???) ... well.

...just a little patience *whistlin'*...

but still the song of the day is : GnR - Estranged - atm for me the best song in the world. i love
the 1x minute songs of g'nr a lot.

would want to do such things with my band too, strange, not so "radio-conform" (as if we would be played within the next 10 years =D, but u know what i mean) songs - with gooseflash bringin' guitar riffs, lyrics to simply close your eyes and delightment.

and not a uptempo number, although i like our songs a lot meanwhile... in the beginnin i thought i would only hear them because I also took a big part on composin, as well as playin, but now i simply like them (except the cruel quality of the mp3s and 2 of my solos, which i just improvised - not good...)

what the heck. well.
cu. or . whatever.
strange.

Ps: it really confused me to see a friend of mine, and his brother side by side - they seem somehow to be cloned - how they are looking (with the eyes i mean - if u see em, u wouldn't mix 'em up... ) the way they laugh, speak, the voice - it was really interesting.

too much...

vodka yesterday - goddamn - BY FAR TOO MUCH.

but I'm quite ok, probably we're gonna drink a beer or two. who knows.

whatever. cu.

Strange - these days

sittin here with a bit vodka and ice tea, mixin it up, listenin to some good old "use your illusion" dvd, slash on a doubleneck (no i won't tell u what all that means, . "mia wuascht")...

More and more i start to realize that i'm not self confident at all...
in LOTS of different meanings - i'm afraid of my upcoming matura, afraid to talk to girls (there would have been even one that made the first step - whatever, where not drunk enough for that in those days i guess - confidence seems to come with vodka. CHEERS)

so much seems so strange to me atm. hm. dunno anythin' what to do after that school - music science ("musikwissenschaften") would be interesting, would it help me anything to go more into music? am i musically enough for somethin' like that? who cares? would i have enough ambition? well who knows...

all i know, somehow i wanna life a live with a job that i kinda like, a woman i love and hopefully kids (maybe even a dog, but only if it is needed for some kinda "american dream" feelin =D

c u, thanx for the interest (probably 2 people? well...)

estranged - gunsnroses:


When you're talkin to yourself
And nobody's home
You can fool yourself
You came in this world alone
(Alone)

So nobody ever told you baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to you baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see
One, two

Old at heart but I'm only 28
And I'm much too young
To let love break my heart
Young at heart but it's getting much too late
To find ourselves so far apart


I don't know how you're s'posed
To find me lately
An what more could you ask from me
How could you say that I never needed you
When you took everything
Said you took everything from me


Young at heart an it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now
Old at heart but I musn't hesitate
If I'm to find my own way out


Still talkin' to myself and nobody's home
(Alone)


So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to us baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see


When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time
An now that you've been broken down
Got your head out of the clouds
You're back down on the ground
And you don't talk so loud
An you don't walk so proud
Any more, and what for


Well I jumped into the river too many times
to make it home
I'm out here on my own, an drifting all alone
If it doesn't show give it time
To read between the lines
'Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything We've ever known's here
Why must it drift away and die


I'll never find anyone to replace you
Guess I'll have to make it thru, this time
Oh this time
Without you


I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die